Learning to Sleep...

As I've mentioned before, my company is a great company. They know that most workers tend to feel drowsy after a nice heavy lunch at the cafeteria or after sitting in front of the computer for 4 or 5 hours. So what did they do? They went and bought chairs that actively discourage people from falling asleep on them. Good for the company, bad for me.

I really hate these chairs. Why? Because I'm of the old school. I like my chairs to have a seat, a back, four legs and nothing more. In case such a chair is not available, I'll prefer a rock to these new fangled pseudo-chairs, which you need a degree in rocket science to actually make it sittable in. These chairs have a gazillion levers and buttons. One to raise the seat, one to lower it, another to tilt it, one to raise the arm rests, one to change the inclination of the back and countless others. I suspect that these aren't mere chairs, they're actually living alien space ships capable of faster than light travel. They're just lurking around here in disguise, gathering data about life on earth. One day, we'll all come to our offices to see that all our chairs have gone. Instead of celebrating, as would be our natural reaction on seeing this happy occurance, we must realize instead that the end is near. All those spaceship-chairs have zoomed away to their home planet to bring back hordes of deadly fighter chairs to take over Planet Earth and enslave the human race. So treat those chairs with respect and kindness. After all, you can always badmouth them when they aren't looking.

Anyway, coming back to the point,I generally feel sleepy around 4am, after which I like to take a good solid nap until around 6am when the first buses start. My work gets over at 2.30am usually, so no, I do not sleep on company time, in case you were wondering. On the first day of my night shift, as I settled down into this alien looking chair to catch my Zzzz's I made the startling discovery that they weren't meant to be slept in. But I tried my best, and after a few intimate encounters with the floor, decided that I should look elsewhere for comfort. So I slept for around half an hour on the table, which really wasn't comfortable at all, and then spent the remaining time walking around bleary eyed and cursing loudly to myself.

On the second day, I realized that the urge to sleep at around 3.30 to 4am is a natural inborn human urge. What else would explain the loudly snoring guy sitting in the cubicle 2 spaces ahead of me or the three or four other tireless IT executives minutely examining the floor in one corner of the office? So, on the second day, I did a bit of reconnaissance and observed how more experienced night shifters manage to sleep. And I learnt quite a bit. For example, I learnt that if you weren't squeemish about sleeping on the floor, you could just turn over one of these horrid chairs and use the backrest as a pillow. But I don't want to sleep on the floor. Not after some of my team members claim to have seen rats in the office. I don't know if they were pulling my leg, but I really think that them pulling my leg is much more preferable to having a rat biting your toe off. So I had to figure out a way to sleep on this chair. After many vain efforts, I resigned myself to the bleary eyed-cursing loudly routine which I seemed to be getting good at. Thus went the second day.

And on the third day, much experimenting, and a few bruised elbows later, I figured out the most optimal method to use the chair so that it doesnt hurt you when you sleep. It didnt involve AutoCAD drawings, but it almost did. The position being too complicated to explain without diagrams, I shall not even try. Suffice to say that I slept like a baby. So soundly infact, that my Team Lead came and woke me up at around 6.30am when he came for his shift.

And I've been sleeping happily everafter. Give me two of these horrible chairs and a desk, and I can sleep and dream in a way that you can't even imagine. So if you ever happen to be at the Satyam Perungudi office some time after 2.30am (God forbid), and you hear a loud grating noise shaking the building, do not fear.

Its only me, snoring happily.